November 17, 2010
– „Unstoppable“ was not a good movie. I know it’s a difficult dilemma…should you trust (kalafudra and) me or should you trust Ebert. I say trust me. (Well, I would, wouldn’t I…) While it starts with what is arguably the most dramatic opening shot of a stationary train ever committed to celluloid, this is a movie about a runaway train where it takes over 1hour and 20 minutes until somebody, somewhere picks up a pencil (!!!) and does some math. Now, I’d be the first to argue that math has no place in life, certainly not in mine. I would also, however, be the first to argue that this (among other things) means I have no place anywhere near decisions regarding runaway trains or the attempted stopping thereof. Just saying. After that, the movie becomes an accumulation of minor annoyances. Denzel Washington is bland, Chris Pine plays a guy who has about as much depth as a puddle in mid-summer. Writing on screen tells people who are intimately familiar with Pennsylvanian geography what’s going on while telling the rest of the world that they don’t know shit about Pennsylvanian geography and should therefore just give up on ever understanding which train is where at any one time. Strangely over-written supporting character Noidea Whathescalled has slick racing tires on his pickup truck for no reason other than for some interesting will-he-or-won’t-he-be-thrown-off-the-road-shots. Trainstopping-Plan A seems based on the interesting idea that speed and acceleration are really the same thing, and that there’s no such thing as inertia. A freakish human encyclopedia walks into the control room and stays there for no apparent reason other than to tell people stuff they’re unable to google due to lack of google-fu (or brains). And, of course, to pick up the above-mentioned pencil. (Come to think of it, maybe they couldn’t google because they don’t actually have computers…hence the need for a pencil.) And I could go on…but I don’t want to. I really don’t. Still…trains are cool. But next time I want to watch a train movie, I’ll make it Lumet’s „Murder on the Orient Express“.
– There are plumbers in my future. This means that there nights full of peaceful sleep in my future. This means my future is less cranky and better rested. I like my future already.
– Burned almonds are the best thing in the world.
– Should I or should I not re-read „Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows“ over the weekend?
– I find it very, very disturbing when I hear twelve-year-old boys having in-depth discussions of „anal penetration“ and specialised vocabulary associated with it. Call me prudish, but there it is. If I never hear the word „felching“ from a kid’s mouth again, it will be too soon.
– On my way home there was this really loud, probably mentally ill guy on the tram. At first I thought he was talking gibberish. Then he came closer and I realised that only half of it was actually nonsense. The other half was some sort of lecture on the lasting repercussions of the collapse of the British Empire…in very fine English o.Ô (I was lalf tempted to stay and debate him…but then he wandered off and into a closed door.)
– To tea or not to tea?