März 14, 2012


Posted in Erleben, Lernen, Lesen um 9:19 pm von deadra

I was always that kid.

The one that had just one more question after everybody else was ready to move on.
The one who wanted to know all about how and why and where and anyway, does it bounce when you drop it? (still, I find, one of the most important pieces of information to have about anything ^^)

It didn’t matter what the topic was, if I didn’t know it, then I had to find out right away, and adults who couldn’t answer my questions were an annoying obstacle in my quest. (They were adults…knowing stuff was what they were there for, after all.)

But everything changed once I had figured out how to read. Because that was when something momentuous happened – my parents took their encyclopedia (12 volumes, blue, with golden font – just beautiful) and moved it to a shelf that was low enough for me to reach.

That was probably the single most empowering thing anyone has ever done for me. To actually put everything there was to know right there, at my fingertips, whenever I wanted it.
There was so much of it, there wasn’t the slightest chance I’d ever get bored. But at the same time there wasn’t so much I’d be intimidated – I could hold the whole lot in my arms, after all. (Well…for a couple of seconds. Almost.)

Now, intellectually, I know that I have even more knowledge at my fingertips right now, and with my smartphone I can not only hold it in my hand, but even carry it with me.
But at the same time, the internet is vast and endless and what gatekeepers there are are highly specialised or unreliable.  Gaining knowledge there requires a kind of advanced rational literacy that I wouldn’t even have dreamed of when I was five.
The encyclopedia was dependable, reliable, and safe in the sense that I didn’t necessarily need an adult to read it with me to make sure I couldn’t stray into the weird world of porn. (Anyone who claims that using the internet effectively isn’t a skill that has to be learned is a liar who forgot their first embarassing misadventures on purpose.)

I owe that encyclopedia a lot, and I still miss it, sometimes, both for what it is and what it embodies.

And that’s why I think it’s so very sad that the Encyclopaedia Britannica is stopping the presses. Because the internet won’t fit on any bottom shelf, and the internet won’t ever belong to a little girl all to herself. And because I recently looked into my great-grandparents‘ encyclopedia, which is a little over 100 years old. What’s in there is just as informative as what isn’t. (Seriously… Mind. Blown.)

Losing that is a sad thing indeed.

Februar 29, 2012

Watched So You Don’t Have To – „In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds“

Posted in Erleben, Sehen um 11:37 pm von deadra

A few helpful facts about „In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale“

1) It is an Uwe Boll movie. If you don’t know what this means, consider yourself lucky and DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER (Seriously, I’m trying to spare you from this. Shoo! Enjoy your unsullied happiness elsewhere!). If you do know, proceed at your own risk.

2) It is the most LotR-ripping-off-est mess ever committed to celluloid, BUT

3) it also boasts a poor man’s Cirque du Soleil, ninjas, and one guy in the most inexplicable cowboy hat I ever saw. (Yeah, really.)

4) Uwe Boll has decided that a masterpiece like that needs a sequel. And – this is the unbelievable part – nobody stopped him. As a result we now live in a world where „In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds“ exists.


Funniest things about this? 1) Dolph never wears armour and 2) that woman is not in the film.

And because it exists, and because I’m morbidly curious in that endearing „I wonder what would happen if I repeatedly hit myself with THIS“-kind of way, and because I’ve consumed just the right amount of Dutch courage…I’m going to watch it, so you don’t have to.

A few more things before we start:

1) I won’t be responsible for any lasting damage to your soul should you read this and STILL decide that watching that film is a good idea.

2) The version I got has Swedish subtitles, which is fitting, what with Dolph Lundgren starring in it.

3) What you are about to read will be EXTREMELY detailed, because I’m a great believer in sharing my pain. Be prepared to deal with that.

Alright. Buckle your seatbelts, people – here we go!

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Mai 8, 2011


Posted in Erleben um 8:53 pm von deadra

Fun fact: I don’t like thinking about what I look like.

On good days, that’s because I genuinely don’t give a fuck. I wear flats because I can walk in them. I wear hoodies and jeans because they’re comfortable. I don’t wear make-up, and my hair is long because it’s by far the least trouble that way.
On not-so-good days, that’s because I have no clue how to even start doing something about it (so many things I don’t know shit about) and because I’m secretly convinced that it would be a hopeless waste anyway.

If I’m forced to think about what I look like, the day will go from „good“ to „not-so-good“ in about ten minutes.

This is what happened today. I’m supposed to go to a wedding. Now, I’m not the biggest fan of weddings anyway, but some of them can’t be avoided, because I actually care about the happy couple and they want me there and would it kill me to bite my tongue and spend one day smiling and pretending to be a social animal…and all of a sudden there’s a wedding on Saturday and even I realise that I can’t show up to my friends‘ wedding in jeans and a washed out hoodie.

Hence the agonising. Because I have no idea what to wear. I’ll have to find something. And then I’ll have to do something with myself to wear it properly.

I hate this. I hate the idea of putting on some kind of costume I’m not used to and failing miserably to come up with a way to make my hair look like, well, anything at all. I hate the idea of spending an entire day in shoes that make me look like a freak because I can’t walk in them. And most of all I hate the fact that, since this day is now very much a „not-so-good“ day, I am completely sure even the best efforts of people who know what they’re doing wouldn’t matter because it’d still me underneath, and I have never once in my life been elegant, let alone pretty.

And from that thought follows directly the idea that, if _I_ have this sort of gut reaction to seeing myself in the mirror, it must be even worse for other people. And really, never leaving my flat again would spare everybody a lot of grief.

And _that_, in turn, is when I know that I have to stop thinking about this shit and go to bed. Because somewhere in a sane corner of my mind, I kind of know that I’m not the hideous Gorgon I feel like right now…I’m maybe frumpy average with a large helping of clueless, but nobody has given me the Quasimodo-treatment just yet (and this isn’t me fishing for compliments, in case you were wondering – this is me typing what’s going on in my head)…but the feeling of investing in a paper bag, or chopping off my hair _right now_, or just curling up in a corner forever, it just won’t go away.

Hence gah.

I’m off to bed. Because tomorrow, I get to try and shop for clothes.

Mai 7, 2011

Long time no blogging

Posted in Erleben um 6:56 pm von deadra

I feel bad about not blogging anything much lately. The trouble is, most of the people who read this blog already _know_ what’s been going on, because they’ve been part of it. So yeah, there’s been some filming, some reading, some cinema-going, some alcohol-related experiments gone awry, but all of that is old news.

As for _new_ news…what can I say – I played „Angry Birds“ for the very first time today. (Yeah, earth-shattering, I know.)

I also downloaded the first „Portal“, because I’ve wanted to play it for ages and so I finally did, and it’s awesome.
It also broke my computer, I think, so I’m not going to be able to finish it until I win the lottery and can buy myself a fancy desktop that can run games without heating up enough for a family BBQ and then shutting down without so much as a warning (and then, when you try to switch it back on, refusing to acknowlege the existence of a keyboard).
So no „Portal“ for me :( And just when I finally managed to get through that live firing range, too. :( :( :(

[I’d like to remind my notebook that notebook hell is a very real place and that it will be sent there at the first sign of fucking with me like this again.*]

(* You’d get it if you played „Portal“…maybe. But if you did, don’t tell me. I don’t need to be reminded about the unfairness of it all ^^)

April 28, 2011

Thursday’s Theme

Posted in Themes um 10:16 pm von deadra

(„It’s still Thursday somewhere, right?“-edition)

Because I saw „Red Riding Hood“ today and it had just enough Michael Shanks to make me squee, but nowhere near enough to make me happy –

Since assorted hiatus-es (… hiati? … hiatus?) are coming up in TV-land, I’m considering an epic re-watch or three…specifically of this show and its two spin-offs. So…WHO’S WITH ME?



April 21, 2011

Thursday’s Theme

Posted in Themes um 7:37 pm von deadra

Long time no theme, I know. Sorry. Life happened, basically.

But HBO has conveniently produced something to make up for my laziness. The theme is suitably middle-age-y, but look at the animation. I mean, seriously, look at it. And it will change as the plotlines move across the map, too. How awesome is that? I can’t wait to actually see the Eyrie. I am prepared to call this now – Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner for the 2011 Emmy for Outstanding Title Design. Mark my words. (If I’m wrong on this, I’m prepared to eat a lot of chocolate, both as forfeit and as consolation.)

März 30, 2011

something to ponder…

Posted in Erleben um 11:31 am von deadra

…because I can’t seem to let this go.



By day –


By night –

„Transcend the sides of the force, my young apprentice.“


Just sayin‘.


März 29, 2011


Posted in Erleben um 1:45 pm von deadra

1. Illness still meh – BUT it get’s better. Sitting upright, able to breathe, able to focus for more than 5mins at a time without head exploding. Throat still on fire, but I have been promised that salt water – gargled and inhaled – will fix that eventually. I hope so, because meh. But having to sit over a steaming bowl of saltwater three times a day made me absolutely certain of two things: 1. This is not relaxing. It’s intensely unpleasant. Also fucking hot. 2. There is no way anyone will EVER get me to enter a sauna.

2. What with my newly acquired ability to focus (in between chugging insane amounts of tea), I have finally switched on my new phone for the first time. Can you believe that? I’ve had it here since Thursday, and I’m only now actually getting acquainted with it. And let me tell you, it’s delightful, it’s delicious, it’s de-lovely (yes, I’m also listening to music ^^). That AMOLED-display is a thing of beauty….so many colours!!! Next step: Figuring out how to get the stuff I have on my old phone onto my new phone, because apparently, I wasn’t smart enough to save it all onto the simcard. Ah well…I’ve got time. And tea.

März 27, 2011


Posted in Erleben, Sehen um 7:57 am von deadra

1. I am still in bed. The good news is, it only hurts when I cough, or swallow, or breathe. The bad news is – I’ve pretty much written off my engagements on Monday, but I’d LIKE to keep the ones on Tuesday. I liked my plans for Tuesday. I want that Tuesday!!!

2. Even knowing that it wasn’t a good idea when I already had a headache, I could not help myself. I had to see this as soon as I discovered it.
People, the first trailer for „The Three Musketeers“ is here. Trust Paul W.S. Anderson to take a story, toss out the brains and replace them with ridiculous levels of awesome (with heavy emphasis on ridiculous). This film is any stereotypical teenage boy’s dream.

Personally, I have a couple of questions:
1.) Venice?!?
2.) Did Orlando Bloom borrow Adam Lambert’s hair?
3.) What on earth did they do to Matthew Macfayden’s voice?!? Who went and thought – „Arthos should really sound disturbingly like a poor impression of Christopher Lee.“?!?
4.) More generally: What.The.Fuck?!?

As you can tell from my reaction, I cannot wait to see this film. Preferably without a headache.

Anyway – judge for yourselves, my dears:

März 17, 2011

Thursday’s Theme

Posted in Themes um 10:45 am von deadra

Billy Corgan. Nuff said.


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