Ich hab’ grad zwei Texte für eine Latein-Matura übersetzt. [Vom LQ aus, weil die Mutter beschlossen hat, wir sollen das machen. Weil das geht ja nicht, dass sich das Kind selbst auf die Matura vorbereitet...das wär ja noch schöner.]

Zwei Texte also…zum Ersten ein Text über den Schnupfen, von einem gewissen Herrn A. Cornelius Celsus. (Ich hab da ein bisserl was  überflogen…wer den als Arzt hatte  der hätte sich ebensogut gleich vom Tarpejischen Felsen stürzen können.)
Und zum Zweiten einen Auszug aus der Naturgeschichte von Plinius dem Älteren, über Heilquellen. (War ja klar. Wenn es zwei Plinii gibt, und einer der beiden hat Humor, dann bekomm ich den anderen…)

Meine erste Erkenntnis war, dass mein Latein mehr oder weniger weg ist. Da stellt man sich mit einer gewissen Bestürzung die Frage „War das nicht irgendwann mal recht einfach???“, und die traurige Antwort ist „Ja, war es. Und du bist seitdem verblödet.“

Aber im Internet suchen kann ich immerhin noch, also hab’ ich wenigstens herausgefunden was da sinngemäß drinsteht. Texte sind immer einfacher zu übersetzen, wenn man schon weiß, was am Ende dastehen soll. Und der Stowasser hat meine ewige Dankbarkeit.

Ich hab’ trotzdem über 3 Stunden gebraucht. Und mein Hirn tut weh.

Und irgendwo aus dem Off dröhnt noch immer eine Stimme: „DIE FIRMA GROBAUER HAT WEDER KOSTEN NOCH MÜHEN GESCHEUT!!! SCHANDE ÜBER DICH UND DEINE KINDER UND KINDESKINDER!!!“

Stellen suchen ist schwierig und nervenzermürbend und seelenzerfressend, aber das tatsächliche Bewerben ist noch schlimmer.

Ich fühl mich als wär ich gleichzeitig das heimatlose Kätzchen *und* Edith Klinger.
Schaun Sie sich das liebe kleine Viecherl an. So lieb und zutraulich. Hat alle Impfungen und einen hübschen Lebenslauf. Es ist flexibel, geht gut mit Stress um, und stubenrein ist es auch.
Bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte, bitte, …

Bleh.

Taken from you guessed it.

1) What author do you own the most books by?

Well…I’m ashamed to admit this, but since I could never really bring myself to throw books away, the answer to that is Thomas Brezina (no idea how many…more than 20, though).

2) What book do you own the most copies of?

I usually only have one copy of every book, but there are 2 copies of Suetonius on my shelf (both in German), because I saw this incredible bargain one day, and was so enthusiastic about it that I forgot I already owned that book.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

Not one bit.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?

Why that singular? I’m a promiscuous girl! Mr Knightley and Colonel Brandon, Landen Parke-Laine, Jean-Claude, Faramir, …

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?

Uh oh…another embarassing one. I don’t usually read books more than once. And anyway…er…yes…you see …ahem … *cough*thepsychangelingbooks*cough*

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?

That was the year of „Sophie’s World“, by Jostein Gaarder.

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?

As a rule, I don’t finish bad books. And I try to purge their memory from my brain. The last year also hasn’t been a very good year for me, reading-quota-wise, so I’m afraid I got nuthin’.

8) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?

„The Somnambulist“ by Jonathan Barnes, I think, because I love a book that fucks with me in such a masterful way that I have no clue what’s actually going on until 20 pages before the end.

9) If you could force everyone you know to read one book, what would it be?

I have hated every single book I’ve ever been forced to read, on principle. Therefore, I wouldn’t force anybody. There might be insistent nagging and bashing-over-the-head, though ^.~

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?

I have no idea, but please, please, *please* let it be a choice that makes Reich-Ranicki’s head explode?

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?

A BBC series of the Thursday Next-books would be the best thing in the world. Movie-wise, I’d love to see an adaptation of Pullman’s „His Dark Materials“ that’s true to the books and doesn’t suck. In the „Serious Literature“ (*snort*) category, I would love to see someone like Stephen Frears direct an adaptation of „Embers“…but I haven’t made up my mind on my dream-team-cast for that one, yet.

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?

Artemis Fowl. Don’t ANYONE dare touch that!!!!1!!

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

I have lots of weird dreams…but the Late-Night-Grocery-Run-Starring-Neil-Gaiman wins this one.

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I honestly don’t know. Kalafudra went with „The DaVinci Code“, and my loyal readers probably expect the „Anita Blake“ series…but I’m going to do you all one better and prove my trash-reading mettle by calling this one a draw: „The Last Legion“ by Valerio Massimo Manfredi, and „The Return“ by William Shatner.

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

Yeah…those books that you have to work for while you’re reading them? The highbrow ones? I don’t do those…at least not deliberately.
Still…of the ones I was forced to read: „Faust Pt1″ by Goethe; Other than that, „Atomised“ by Houellebecq, because it put me in a state somewhere between confusion and nausea and then it just would not end. Bleh.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

There is such a thing as an obscure Shakespeare play? Really? Nevermind, since I haven’t seen any Shakespeare plays, obscure or otherwise. My life is a terrible, terrible void (and I can probably count the times I’ve been to the theatre on my fingers).

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?

No.

18) Roth or Updike?

At a tally of 20-ish pages by Roth against 0 pages by Updike, the point goes to Roth…but only barely and I’d keep it for myself if I could, ha.

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?

Who?

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

Shakespeare. Although the other two are on my Feel-Guilty-For-Not-Having-Read-Them-Years-Ago-You-Philistine!!!-list.

21) Austen or Eliot?

Austen. (I’ve never read anything by George Eliot.)

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?

The gaps in my reading, while easily big enough to be seen from space, are too vast to be perceived by the human eye, or keyboard.

23) What is your favorite novel?

I haven’t the faintest idea. At this exact moment in time, maybe „The Last World“ by Ransmayr.

24) Play?

Should I be totally boring and say „A Midsummer Night’s Dream“? Or „No Exit“ by Sartre? Or „The Importance of Being Earnest“?

25) Poem?

I don’t know much poetry, and I don’t go looking for it, either. But sometimes beautiful stuff finds me: Celan’s „Death Fugue“, e e cummings’ „i carry your heart with me“, W.H. Auden’s „Funeral Blues“, Horace 1,11

26) Essay?

I can only remember two essay’s I’ve read, both were by Mark Twain, and both cracked me up. One was „The Awful German Language“ and the other was about masturbation.

27) Short story?

Difficult. Verrrrrrry difficult. „A Study In Emerald“ by Neil Gaiman, maybe? Well, right now, anyways.

28) Work of nonfiction?

I don’t usually read that sort of thing. Suffice to say that the last non-fiction book I read voluntarily was „The Roman Revolution“ by Syme. I liked that one…but it was over 5 years ago.

29) Who is your favorite writer?

*holds back tears* I won’t decide. You can’t make me!!!

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?

Coelho.

31) What is your desert island book?

Either kalafudra’s answer (the e-book-reader with internet access and unlimited downloads), or „A Complete Idiot’s Guide To Getting Off Desert Islands“. Seriously, I’d rather have no books at all than just one.

32) And… what are you reading right now?

I’m mostly re-reading „Jingo“ by Terry Pratchett, because „Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell“ is too huge to fit in my handbag.

Ich werde nicht schreien.

Ich werde nichts kaputt machen.

Ich werde nicht einmal weinen.

Auch wenn meine externe Festplatte (§$%&“§%“§$&%/“-tes Mistding, elendes!!!!!) scheinbar schon wieder hin ist.

Zumindest erkennt mein neuer Laptop sie nicht. Und mein alter auch nicht. Und sie dreht sich, und dreht sich, und dreht sich, und nichts passiert. Wenn ich nicht relativ sicher wäre, dass es nicht hilfreich ist, das Teil wütend an die Wand zu werfen…

…aber wie gesagt:

Ich werde ruhig bleiben.